Yes, Eatser. Today, for these harbingers of death--because they are the last thing you see before actually meeting Death herself--is a day of feasting. Be careful where you are letting the children wander.
Once upon a time, in a grand old land...
EATSER SUNDAY!
(Well, I made Christmas bloody, I'll try my hand at Easter).
Today is a dream for the velociraptor horde. They make their way across the green field, strewn with baby daffodils and dandelions, skipping upon their three toed feet that have foot long curved claws, their tails whipping gaily in the breeze and sunshine, chomping down on the furry creatures running for their lives, skipping some more across the field...if they had lips, they would be whistling.
Life is but a dream...
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Velociraptors FTW
Today may or not be Velociraptor Awareness Day; for me, it is always Velociraptor Awareness Day, Velociraptor Awareness Forever. Because velociraptors don't pick just one day to attack you. Every day is "Attack Humans Day" for velociraptors. Especially Christmas.
I think, though, if some other people in the world are, just for today, wisely making themselves aware of the threat, then I should put forth extra effort in the fight against them. I think first I will reference my reader to previous posts--specifically the proper way to use a bazooka during a velociraptor horde attack (posted back in November): http://velociraptorapocalypse.blogspot.com/2010/11/penguin-velociraptor-llama-kill.html
There that's my first step towards the education of this day. Secondly, I would like to remind everyone that fighting is useless in the long run, if they are really out to get you, because, if they are, they will. This day could also be called Remember That You Are Doomed Day.
If you find a baby velociraptor keep it. We are still looking into how much training a dinosaur can take, to aid us in the fight. Perhaps these ruthless creatures can be used as tools.
Fourthly, well, I'll come back and update this later in the day. Good luck not getting eaten.
I think I might as well, in celebration of this day where more than a few people are thinking about dinosaurs all simultaneously, that I will also answer the question people keep asking me (only in part, as it is a complicated question, though it doesn't seem as though it would be) and that question is: Why velociraptors?
My answer is as follows: Power. It is simple enough. I am fascinated by creatures that carried some kind of power. My first and foremost fascination with dinosaurs comes from their power, their strength and goliath size that would easily overwhelm the slight powers of today. And you might ask why I focus on velociraptors if the more obvious choice would be the largest and, seemingly, most blood-thirsty of the ancient beasts, the t-rex, and that answer, too, is simple: Power of the cunning mind. Excluding the mythologies raised by the Jurassic Park movies, velociraptors, though in actuality being rather small creatures, were cunning. That is where their true strength lies, I think, in that they were much smaller than a t-rex but there is evidence that a group of them would, in the past, take down the monsters for food. As stated in my previous post, or at least alluded to, one of the few things in life I can pin down as being worth striving for is power. We, as a collective human society, look back and only remember figures of power. To say otherwise is almost beyond a comprehensible sentence--what would I say? That we "do not look back and remember... non powerful beings"? It is hard to put the phrase on the tongue, because we remember power. And we remember those who were overpowered, because we focus on how power can be taken. Therefore, I write about velociraptors, because, in my own small way, I can see myself as writing about Power. And I use that as a vehicle for my own feelings and emotions, my own quirks and my own way of seeking humor on a day-to-day basis.
I think that is a simplified version, and it certainly leaves a lot out, a lot unexplained I suppose, but I think it is understandable at least.
However, it should also be said that the figures I find the most despicable in life were the ones solely seeking power. That is one of my fascinations with the whole thing. Why must we seek power? Is there anything else to seek? Why are we such shadows passing between?
I suppose this has taken a turn away from dinosaurs now and become rather self-reflective--and I try not to be self-reflective on this blog--but I felt inclined, for some reason, to share this all. I've been rather self-reflective lately. Perhaps I feel emboldened because most who would read this have become too busy. Perhaps I feel that someone stumbling across this might also be wondering about what it means to be a shadow, engulfed in the shade of others. At any rate, it can't hurt to share, sometimes, some things, I think; and I can always take this back off.
I think, though, if some other people in the world are, just for today, wisely making themselves aware of the threat, then I should put forth extra effort in the fight against them. I think first I will reference my reader to previous posts--specifically the proper way to use a bazooka during a velociraptor horde attack (posted back in November): http://velociraptorapocalypse.blogspot.com/2010/11/penguin-velociraptor-llama-kill.html
There that's my first step towards the education of this day. Secondly, I would like to remind everyone that fighting is useless in the long run, if they are really out to get you, because, if they are, they will. This day could also be called Remember That You Are Doomed Day.
If you find a baby velociraptor keep it. We are still looking into how much training a dinosaur can take, to aid us in the fight. Perhaps these ruthless creatures can be used as tools.
Fourthly, well, I'll come back and update this later in the day. Good luck not getting eaten.
I think I might as well, in celebration of this day where more than a few people are thinking about dinosaurs all simultaneously, that I will also answer the question people keep asking me (only in part, as it is a complicated question, though it doesn't seem as though it would be) and that question is: Why velociraptors?
My answer is as follows: Power. It is simple enough. I am fascinated by creatures that carried some kind of power. My first and foremost fascination with dinosaurs comes from their power, their strength and goliath size that would easily overwhelm the slight powers of today. And you might ask why I focus on velociraptors if the more obvious choice would be the largest and, seemingly, most blood-thirsty of the ancient beasts, the t-rex, and that answer, too, is simple: Power of the cunning mind. Excluding the mythologies raised by the Jurassic Park movies, velociraptors, though in actuality being rather small creatures, were cunning. That is where their true strength lies, I think, in that they were much smaller than a t-rex but there is evidence that a group of them would, in the past, take down the monsters for food. As stated in my previous post, or at least alluded to, one of the few things in life I can pin down as being worth striving for is power. We, as a collective human society, look back and only remember figures of power. To say otherwise is almost beyond a comprehensible sentence--what would I say? That we "do not look back and remember... non powerful beings"? It is hard to put the phrase on the tongue, because we remember power. And we remember those who were overpowered, because we focus on how power can be taken. Therefore, I write about velociraptors, because, in my own small way, I can see myself as writing about Power. And I use that as a vehicle for my own feelings and emotions, my own quirks and my own way of seeking humor on a day-to-day basis.
I think that is a simplified version, and it certainly leaves a lot out, a lot unexplained I suppose, but I think it is understandable at least.
However, it should also be said that the figures I find the most despicable in life were the ones solely seeking power. That is one of my fascinations with the whole thing. Why must we seek power? Is there anything else to seek? Why are we such shadows passing between?
I suppose this has taken a turn away from dinosaurs now and become rather self-reflective--and I try not to be self-reflective on this blog--but I felt inclined, for some reason, to share this all. I've been rather self-reflective lately. Perhaps I feel emboldened because most who would read this have become too busy. Perhaps I feel that someone stumbling across this might also be wondering about what it means to be a shadow, engulfed in the shade of others. At any rate, it can't hurt to share, sometimes, some things, I think; and I can always take this back off.
Friday, April 1, 2011
There are no dinosaurs.
None. They do not exist. They never made a come back. There are no velociraptors. There are no pterodactyls. The apocalypse is not coming, is not nigh, is not brought on by velociraptors and formerly extinct gigantic reptiles/flying monsters and such.
We actually live in a world where learning how to defend one's life is not taught, is not even mentioned as a useful skill in most societies. I can't even shoot a gun. I've wielded a minor sword only once. I've never had to defend myself against a dinosaur.
There is nothing to fear. You are all safe.
April Fools.
We actually live in a world where learning how to defend one's life is not taught, is not even mentioned as a useful skill in most societies. I can't even shoot a gun. I've wielded a minor sword only once. I've never had to defend myself against a dinosaur.
There is nothing to fear. You are all safe.
April Fools.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)