Oh, it happened.

What you all don't realize is that the Rapture thing was a front. A front. A distraction from the bigger problem. Yes.

Yeah.


Bigger.



Raptor'd.



Across the world people have been raptor'd today in numbers far exceeding the smaller attacks that I have been telling of before now. And we saw it coming. But death is inevitable. So to distract the news, they (whoever is telling you it didn't happen is a 'they') put up a show foretelling the "rapture". A play on words you say? Wouldn't someone be suspicious? No. Because it is best to hide the truth in the open. It is the last place people will look for it.

But I submit to you now a call to arms. The raptors were not just attacking humans. They were attacking larger threats. Is your heart racing? Even if it isn't, those of whom we fear above all else will be able to hear it. Because...THEY'RE BACK. Not just velociraptors: from daemonosauras chauliodus to pterodactyls--and the t-rex should be the least of your worries. The real war has begun.

Join me. I have a few velociraptor prodigies with whom I am working to create a machine of some kind. A living, terrifying, blood thirsty machine.



Hope is useless. Action is all we have.

Velociraptor Pet

Blogging is weird. People, sharing little anecdotes of their life, not face to face, not via published narrative, not like a memoir or a autobiography, just little notes on daily activities that others might find interesting thus they are shared.

That being said, I would like a velociraptor for a pet. (I'm actually surprised I haven't written about pet velociraptors before...I guess I was too concerned with destroying them.)

Reason #1: Better than pepper spray, tasers, and hand guns. Concerned about walking around LA at night? No big deal, I'll have my velociraptor escort me home.

Reason #2: Transportation. I'd make a special saddle for it and we'd run about on the freeway at 50 miles/hour. And if a car cuts us off, my velociraptor eats it, one door at a time. Velociraptors are like tanks. We'd jump over traffic, running along the tops of cars, snapping at the semi trucks just to piss them off.

Reason #3: Vigilante work. (An added benefit: blood is on the creatures teeth instead of your hands.)

Reason #4: No one else has one (that I know of...).

Reason #5: Writing about having one is better than doing homework.

Reason #6: They're sneaky. Like if Gollum was a beast.

Reason #7: Clever girl.

Reason #8: If I had one as a pet, and I got attacked by a horde of them, it would protect me better than my bazooka ever could, and it would probably convince it's horde to join my cause, and then I'd have my own velociraptor horde, and the government would be mega jealous. Of course.

Reason #9: They may not have survived whatever disaster struck earth all those centuries ago, but having been brought back they can tell me what it was and in the off chance it happens again I'll be better prepared.

Reason #10: Scaling buildings.

I know, I know, ten reasons? You only needed one to justify getting one for a pet. Not that I'd ever give away the secret of obtaining a velociraptor pet. Not that I have one...