Thursday, February 10, 2011

A Velociraptor Valentine

If velociraptors have any concept of what this day is, then I am sure they are pleased that it has much to do with killing. In fact, I am sure they are quite confused as to the human appreciation for the day. They must read through our history books and wonder that a day upon which multiple men of this name were martyred is a day we celebrate with roses and chocolates--not that velociraptors have any idea what chocolates are. And of course they can read (look, they somehow came back from the dead, therefore who's to say they can't read?) (I wonder if chocolate could be a way to win them over...)

But a velociraptor Valentine would look like...nonexistent. Dead roses everywhere. It is truly a massacre. (And I say this with a little dread, and refusing to think about the real St Valentine's Day massacre...oh humanity...*shudders*)

There, now I am truly in the spirit of the day. No? Alright, a velociraptor Valentine could possibly look like a Jewish Christmas. Or an atheist celebrating Easter. Weak comparisons...a velociraptor Valentine would actually look authentically like the day of the real Valentines of old, minus anyone sacrificing themselves for their religion, unless their religion is in someway affiliated with velociraptors needing to be destroyed and the person dies while in the process of trying to kill the raptors rather than running or deciding velociraptors are friendly...

Happy Day of Martyrdom Everyone!

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