Friday, December 24, 2010

How A Velociraptor Celebrates Christmas

Step One: Buy Santa suit. As I warned everyone before, the white of a velociraptor Santa suit never stays white for very long--it gets stained with blood and the darkness from their souls.

Step Two: Buy Santa sack, to carry home the humans in.

Step Three: Go down chimneys, in through windows and doors, and kill humans, stuffing them into sack.

Step Four: Come home, sit baby raptors upon knee, and, while sharing the goods, tell about the very first Christmas...

"Well, little raptors," says Daddy Raptor, "It was a great day for all. We had heard that humans actually expect things to come into their houses on this day. It was a miracle, the first Christmas miracle. With the world asleep, we made our first Christmas meal. Here's to the first Christmas!"

If you did not read my earlier post, I strongly suggest you do so. I put in a very detailed depiction of Santa Raptor vs Santa Claus, as the two in their hats look eerily similar in the dark. Memorize the differences. And buy those bazookas.

Merry Christmas Eve!!!

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